Impotent, and with a small penisIt must be great to be impotent.
It must also be great to have a tiny penis.
I say this, because I am constantly emailed by people enquiring about the state of my potency, and the size of my potentate. There must be millions of people out there who genuinely want to help me, and are only thwarted by the fact that my bishop stands unaided, and performs on cue.
On my lonely days, however, I wish things were not quote so functional. On those days I could reply to the emails by saying, "Actually, things aren't so great in the pants department. Can you help me?"
I would be immediately surrounded by love and joy as these thousands of people rush to my aid with sidenafil citrate, pumps, patches and plungers. There would be a mass laying on of hands - it would be like a group hug from the centipede family. It would be lovely.
But alas, by gusset filler functions perfectly normally so I will go on my lonely way, wishing for a little pop gun that only shoots blanks.